sandra~

2006-12-30T04:37:00.000-08:00

today went to COI for (shui xui) class phyllis didnt turn up ....anway now she and guan peng like become better together so happy for them....but whenever their relationship gets better pyllis will forget that i am her friend..... i beleive in fate...and i feel that both me and phyllis no fate to be friends ....anyway as a friend she didnt give me the kind of respect the i should have so hack care....without a friend i still can survive...... i fine without anyone around ...dont care her she dont treat me as friend i also dont mind ...phyllis and i cant be friends de....

2006-12-19T04:15:00.000-08:00

Saturday went to see phyllis and guan peng perform ...ahaha guan peng iron every ones' costume ahaha....then saw syafiqah she very nice.. she told me wad happen on their tryp to india.... Today went to the Singapore Orchid Festival ...wahaha very nice orzz and saw alot of new type of flowers and see how people paint all de flowers ....its so fun..anyway really enjoy myself there haha heres all the pic

2006-12-06T06:35:00.000-08:00

Grandpa's birthday!!!!!! ^.^

2006-12-06T06:22:00.000-08:00

As Children Together
by Carolyn Forche

Under the sloped snow
pinned all winter with Christmas
lights, we waited for your father
to whittle his soap cakes
away, finish the whisky,
your mother carry her coffee
from room to room closing lights
cubed in the snow at our feet.
Holding each other's
coat sleeves we slid down
the roads in our tight
black dresses, past
crystal swamps and the death
face of each dark house,
over the golden ice
of tobacco spit, the blue
quiet of ponds, with town
glowing behind the blind
white hills and a scant
snow ticking in the stars.
You hummed blanche comme
la neige and spoke of Montreal
where a quebecoise could sing,
take any man's face
to her unfastened blouse
and wake to wine
on the bedside table.
I always believed this,
Victoria, that there might
be a way to get out.
You were ashamed of that house,
its round tins of surplus flour,
chipped beef and white beans,
relief checks and winter trips
that always ended in deer
tied stiff to the car rack,
the accordion breath of your uncles
down from the north, and what
you called the stupidity
of the Michigan French.
Your mirror grew ringed
with photos of servicemen
who had taken your breasts
in their hands, the buttons
of your blouses in their teeth,
who had given you the silk
tassels of their graduation,
jackets embroidered with dragons
from the Far East. You kept
the corks that had fired
from bottles over their beds
their letters with each city
blackened, envelopes of hair
from their shaved heads.
I am going to have it, you said.
Flowers wrapped in paper from carts
in Montreal, a plane lifting out
of Detroit, a satin bed, a table
cluttered with bottles of scent.
So standing in a platter of ice
outside a Catholic dance hall
you took their collars
in your fine chilled hands
and lied your age to adulthood.
I did not then have breasts of my own,
nor any letters from bootcamp
and when one of the men who had
gathered around you took my mouth
to his own there was nothing
other than the dance hall music
rising to the arms of iced trees.
I don't know where you are now, Victoria.
They say you have children, a trailer
in the snow near our town,
and the husband you found as a girl
returned from the Far East broken
cursing holy blood at the table
where nightly a pile of white shavings
is paid from the edge of his knife.
If you read this poem, write to me.
I have been to Paris since we parted.

2006-12-06T05:57:00.000-08:00

By Night when Others Soundly Slept
by Anne Bradstreet

1 By night when others soundly slept
And hath at once both ease and Rest,
My waking eyes were open kept
And so to lie I found it best.

2 I sought him whom my Soul did Love,
With tears I sought him earnestly.
He bow'd his ear down from Above.
In vain I did not seek or cry.

3 My hungry Soul he fill'd with Good;
He in his Bottle put my tears,
My smarting wounds washt in his blood,
And banisht thence my Doubts and fears.

4 What to my Saviour shall I give
Who freely hath done this for me?
I'll serve him here whilst I shall live
And Loue him to Eternity.

2006-12-06T05:55:00.000-08:00

At Mass
by Vachel Lindsay

No doubt to-morrow I will hide
My face from you, my King.
Let me rejoice this Sunday noon,
And kneel while gray priests sing.
It is not wisdom to forget.
But since it is my fate
Fill thou my soul with hidden wine
To make this white hour great.
My God, my God, this marvelous hour
I am your son I know.
Once in a thousand days your voice
Has laid temptation low.

2006-12-06T05:44:00.000-08:00

ME HAHA (SO UGLY!!!!!!!!)

2006-12-06T05:36:00.000-08:00

From The Triumph of Love
by Geoffrey Hill

I
Sun-blazed, over Romsley, a livid rain-scarp.

XIII
Whose lives are hidden in God? Whose?
Who can now tell what was taken, or where,
or how, or whether it was received
how ditched, divested, clamped, sifted, over-
laid, raked over, grassed over, spread around,
rotted down with leafmould, accepted
as civic concrete, reinforceable
base cinderblocks
tipped into Danube, Rhine, Vistula, dredged up
with the Baltic and the Pontic sludge
committed in absentia to solemn elevation,
Trauermusik, musique funebre, funeral
music, for male and female
voices ringingly a cappella,
made for double string choirs, congregated brass,
choice performers on baroque trumpets hefting,
like glassblowers, inventions
of supreme order?

XIV
As to bad faith, Malebranche might argue
it rests with inattention. Stupidity
is not admissible. However, the status
of apprehension remains at issue.
Some qualities are best
left unrecognized. Needless to say,
unrecognized is not
unacknowledged.
Unnamed is not nameless.

XVII
If the gospel is heard, all else follows:
the scattering, the diaspora,
the shtetlach, ash pits, pits of indigo dye.
Penitence can be spoken of, it is said,
but is itself beyond words;
even broken speech presumes. Those Christian Jews
of the first Church, huddled sabbath-survivors,
keepers of the word; silent, inside twenty years,
doubly outcast: even so I would remember
the scattering, the diaspora.
We do not know the saints.
His mercy is greater even than his wisdom.
If the gospel is heard, all else follows.
We shall rise again, clutching our wounds.

XXXV
Even now, I tell myself, there is a language
to which I might speak and which
would rightly hear me;
responding with eloquence; in its turn,
negotiating sense without insult
given or injury taken.
Familiar to those who already know it
elsewhere as justice,
it is met also in the form of silence.

XXIX
Rancorous, narcissistic old sod what
makes him go on? We thought, hoped rather,
he might be dead. Too bad. So how
much more does he have of injury time?

XL
For wordly, read worldly; for in equity, inequity;
for religious read religiose; for distinction
detestation. Take accessible to mean
acceptable, accommodating, openly servile.
Is that right, Missis, or is that right? I don't
care what I say, do I?

XLI
For iconic priesthood, read worldly pique and ambition.
Change insightfully caring to pruriently intrusive.
Delete chastened and humbled. Insert humiliated.
Interpret slain in the spirit as browbeaten to exhaustion.
For hardness of heart read costly dislike of cant.

XLII
Excuse me excuse me I did not
say the pain is lifting. I said the pain is in
the lifting. No please forget it.

XLIII
This is quite dreadful he's become obsessed.
There you go, there you go narrow it down to obsession!

LI
Whatever may be meant by moral landscape,
it is for me increasingly a terrain
seen in cross-section igneous, sedimentary,
conglomerate, metamorphic rock- strata, in which particular grace,
individual love, decency, endurance, are traceable across the faults.

LII
Admittedly at times this moral landscape to my exasperated ear emits
archaic burrings like a small, high-fenced electricity sub-station of uncertain age
in a field corner where the flies gather and old horses shake their sides.

LXVI
Christ has risen yet again to their ritual supplication. It seems weird
that the comedy never self-destructs.
Actually it is strengthened if attenuation is strength. (Donne said as much of gold. Come back, Donne, I forgive you; and lovely Herbert.)
But what strange guild is this that practises daily
synchronized genuflection and takes pride in hazing my Jewish wife? If Christ
be not risen, Christians are petty temple-schismatics, justly
cast out of the law.
Worse things have befallen Israel. But since he is risen, he is risen even for these
high-handed underlings of self- worship who, as by obedience,
proclaim him risen indeed.

LXVII
Instruct me further in your travail, blind interpreter. Suppose I cannot
unearth what it was they buried research is not anamnesis. Nor is this a primer
of innocence exactly. Did the centurion see nothing irregular before the abnormal light seared his eyeballs? Why do I take as my gift a wounded and wounding introspection? The rule is clear enough last alleluias forte, followed by indifferent coffee and fellowship.

LXIX
What choice do you have? These are false questions.
Fear is your absolute, yet in each feature infinitely variable, Manichean beyond dispute, for you alone, the skeletal maple, a loose wire
tapping the wind.

LXX
Active virtue: that which shall contain its own passion in the public weal do you follow? or can you at least take the drift of the thing? The struggle
for a noble vernacular this did not end with Petrarch. But where is it?
Where has it got us? Does it stop, in our case, with Dryden, or, perhaps,
Milton's political sonnets? the cherished stock hacked into ransom and ruin; the voices of distinction, far back, indistinct.
Still, I'm convinced that shaping, voicing, are types of civic action.
Or, slightly to refashion this, that Wordsworth's two
Prefaces stand with his great tract on the Convention of Cintra, witnessing to the praesidium in the sacred name of things betrayed. Intrinsic value I am somewhat less sure of. It seems implicate with active virtue but I cannot say how, precisely. Partaking of both fact and recognition, it must be, therefore, in effect, at once agent and predicate imponderables brought home to the brute mass and detail of the world; there, by some, to be pondered.

XCVI
Ignorant, assured, there comes to us a voice Unchallengeable of the foundations,
distinct authority devoted to indistinction. With what proximity to justice stands the record of mischance, heroic hit-or-miss, the air so full of flak and tracer, legend says, you pray to live unnoticed. Mr Ives took Emersonian self-reliance the whole way on that. Melville, half-immolated, rebuilt the pyre. Hoist, some time later, stumbled on dharma. What can I say?— At worst and best a blind ennoblement, flood-water, hunched, shouldering at the weir, the hatred that is in the nature of love.

CXVIII
By default, as it so happens, here we have good and bad angels caught burning
themselves characteristic antiphons; and here the true and the false
shepherds discovered already deep into their hollow debate. Is that all? No, add spinners of fine calumny, confectioners of sugared malice; add those who find sincerity in heartless weeping. Add the pained, painful clowns, brinksmen of perdition. Sidney: best realizer and arguer of music, that ‘divine striker upon the senses’, steady my music to your Augustinian grace-notes, with your high craft of fret. I am glad to have learned how it goes with you and with Italianate-
Hebraic Milton your voices pitched exactly— somewhere—between Laus Deo and defiance.

CXIX
And yes bugger you, MacSikker et al., I do mourn and resent your desolation of learning Scientia that enabled, if it did not secure, forms of understanding, far from despicable, and furthest now, as they are most despised. By understanding I understand diligence and attention, appropriately understood as actuated self-knowledge, a daily acknowledgement of what is owed the dead.

CXX
As with the Gospels, which it is allowed to resemble, in Measure for Measure moral uplift is not the issue. Scrupulosity, diffidence, shrill spirituality, conviction, free expression, come off as poorly as deceit or lust. The ethical motiv is so we may hazard opportunism, redemptive and redeemed;
case-hardened on case-law, casuistry's own redemption; the general temper
a caustic equity.

CXXI
So what is faith if it is not inescapable endurance? Unrevisited, the ferns are breast-high, head-high, the days lustrous, with their hinterlands of thunder.
Light is this instant, far-seeing into itself, its own signature on things that recognize salvation. I am an old man, a child, the horizon is Traherne’s country.

CXLVII
To go so far with the elaborately-
vested Angel of Naked Truth and where are we, finally? Don't say that we are nowhere finally. And nowhere are you nowhere are you any more more
cryptic than a schoolyard truce. Cry Kings, Cross, or Crosses, cry Pax, cry Pax, but to be healed. But to be healed, and die!

CXLVIII
Obnoxious means, far back within itself, easily wounded. But vulnerable, proud
anger is, I find, a related self of covetousness. I came late to seeing that. Actually, I had to be shown it. What I saw was rough, and still pains me. Perhaps it should pain me more. Pride is our crux be angry, but not proud where that means vainglorious. Take Leopardi's words or to be accurate BV's English cast of them when he found Tasso's poor scratch of a memorial barely showing among the cold slabs of defunct pomp. It seemed a sad and angry consolation. So Croker, MacSikker, O’Shem I ask you: what are poems for? They are to console us
with their own gift, which is like perfect pitch. Let us commit that to our dust. What ought a poem to be? Answer, a sad and angry consolation. What is
the poem? What figures? Say, a sad and angry consolation. That's
beautiful. Once more? A sad and angry consolation.

CXLIX
Obstinate old man senex sapiens, it is not. Is he still writing? What is he writing now? He has just written I find it hard to forgive myself. We are immortal. Where
was I?

CL
Sun-blazed, over Romsley, the livid rain-scarp.

2006-12-02T05:48:00.000-08:00

MY OATH TO YOU...

When you are sad...I will dry your tears.
When you are scared...I will comfort your fears.
When you are worried...I will give you hope.
When you are confused...I will help you cope.
And when you are lost...And cant see the light
I shall be your beacon...Shining ever so bright.
This is my oath...I pledge till the end.
Why you may ask?...Because you are my friend.

2006-12-02T05:40:00.000-08:00

IF ONE DAY...

If one day you feel like crying...Call me.
I don't promise that i will make you laugh,
But I can cry with you.

If one you want to run away-----
Don't be afraid to call me.
I don't promise to ask you to stop...
But I can run with you.

If one day you dont want to listen to anyone...Call me.
I promise to be there for you.
And i promise to be very quite.

But if one day you call...
And no one answer...
Come fast to see me.
Perhaps I need you.

2006-12-02T05:34:00.000-08:00

Something i think it will be nice to share to everyone of you!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.

FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson .

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

2006-12-02T05:17:00.000-08:00

2006-12-02T04:49:00.000-08:00

Friends they are what they are
nothing more
they are there when you don't need them
gone when you really need them
life's so hard but u gotta believe in friendsonly
the true ones stay by your side through everything and fake ones leave you when times get hard

2006-11-28T06:23:00.000-08:00

Me ahaha ^.^

2006-11-25T04:38:00.000-08:00

today stay at home nothing to do....ahahaha...Ling Wei going back to tiawan on wednesday coming back on 24 Dec ahaha i now thinking how to help .....

i teach her for free thats de reason why i really want her to work extra hard for other people.....being different from others being a different student from other people she have to understand that she has to know that her roud is so easy to cross she only have to study and think of nothing ............ what her parents think and do for her is really de best for her.......wad am i doing here ........i am her e help her to teach her but she herself has to do her part ....

2006-11-23T03:23:00.000-08:00

picture i took from tv ahaha ^.^

2006-11-23T03:05:00.000-08:00

Me ahaha ^.^

2006-11-18T23:53:00.000-08:00

all de anime i took from television ahaha ^.^

2006-11-18T23:48:00.000-08:00

today grandpa's birthday so fun..ahaha its like a family gathering every body enjoy themself and took lots of family photos....really fun.....anyway today whole day at home didnt go out and mummy buy de birthday cake very nice orzz....its coffee fav de very nice orzz........ahaha

2006-11-18T23:32:00.000-08:00

2006-11-18T04:20:00.000-08:00

so wad i really feel ....i dont like her aready..its the another her i refering now...why she tell me something i dont understand......its so weird....its so not right .....i think i like her but i think its not the right time to tell her....dont know wad to do so lost...in a strange place with some ppl who i dont know cant fix in the picture...i am such a weirdo do i belong her...i dont know maybe i an someone belong to outer space .........

2006-11-18T04:04:00.000-08:00

took this photo when i was in germany^.^

2006-11-17T05:35:00.000-08:00

When all light dies,
i will remember the way it shined
in all it's glory
warming the hearts of many
straight rays that couldn't be bent
created dusk and dawn,
watched over love and hate
the ever setting sun,
persistent as it was
so massive and powerfull,
No matter how pure and bright,
it's destiny ends in night.
it too is bound to die out at a given time
just like the vigorous fire of human life.
the dark veil casted over my eyes,
Taking away my sight
converging what was day into night
Don't shed a tear for me when my time comes
for that would be the resemblance of the feelings in my life
Don't feel sad when i'm liberated from the earthly burdens
For that would indicate my earthly sorrows
Rather be happy and gratefull that i've been granted this life,
an opportunity in which i was able to experience all these things
for in the end i'll be able to say;
Life,.. in it;
i have felt immense sorrow and pain,
i have thought of suicide several times
yet i found it worth living.

2006-11-17T05:32:00.000-08:00

I live my whole life in confusion and fear,
The need to feel something unbearably near,
Half of me living,
Half of me gone,
And inside me know what i do is wrong.
The things that can help, the things that may heal,
Are the flame or the blade and the sting of the steel,
The destruction of skin means the death of my soul,
But there is nowhere to run when i live alone.

2006-11-17T05:28:00.000-08:00

wad i really feel......

2006-11-17T04:48:00.000-08:00

I am not nothing.
I am not nothing to my family.
I am a friend.
I am a daughter.
I am a cousin.
I am a granddaughter.
I am a niece.
I am not nothing.
I am not nothing to my family.

2006-11-17T04:41:00.000-08:00

My ring! ahaha ^.^

2006-11-17T04:35:00.000-08:00

porkchop, me and joelle ^.^

2006-11-16T05:41:00.000-08:00

Chills run up my spine
A soul slowly turning cold
Maybe this is like a sign
Of what was about to unfold..
Blood stains soft wrists
Sobs echo deep inside
Curling fingers into fists
These tears,
I must hide..
Leaving me alone to die
Watching me rip apart
Laughing at me as
I crySlowly stabbing at my heart..
Salty tears keep increasing
Burning skin as they fall
Blood my body is releasing
Little drops of pain so small..
Emotions stuck in a throat
Escaping through wet eyes
No more do I think I can float
Silently pulled down by your lies..
Beneath the surface,
I sink
Drowning in tears and blood
Tattooing my skin like ink
Pain, my floor it does flood..

2006-11-16T05:08:00.000-08:00

As I sit
All alone
What used to be laughter
Turns to a broken home
Children cry
And parents scream
Remembering how
They used to dream
About big houses
And money from trees
He says she should leave
And she agrees
And that's where
I left them
All alone
To fight out their matters
On their own

2006-11-16T04:57:00.000-08:00

I will tell you a story about a boy.
A boy with friends and all.
He was a boy of only seven.
Enjoying life and all.
Yet one day when he woke up,
I noticed his deep dark eyes.
He was cheerful as I saw him,
His inside though were boring.
And when I asked him why,
His speech would only cry.
He said he dreamt a day would come,
Where all his friends would die.
He asked me if that dream was true.
All I could do was freeze.
I tried to let my voice sound,
Yet not a word to hear.
He asked me why I couldn't speak.
I told him I didn't know why.
So after that day,
And the night of the other,
Came the boy with his spirit high.
He ran to me,
And craved for attention,
And said with a quick gay smile,
If a friend would die,
I know what to say,
I would like to say goodbye.

2006-11-07T04:44:00.000-08:00

today went back to student care wahaha very fun i miss every corner of student care .....every corner of the room remind me lots of happy memories ...... and i really miss the food there...wahaha aunty agnese cook spagati today SO NICE .......i love it..then have fun with some of de kinds really cute ...because new kids comming in to the student care jessica from indonatial and camille from canada then got one new litter boy from taiwan ahaha they are so cute .......tomorrow going to student care too helping aunty agnese to decorate de room.....wahaha

2006-10-31T04:59:00.000-08:00

today in the morning nothing to do sleep until 9am then wake up .....after lunch went out with porkchop ...go parkway ....... PC also like very stress then she tell me her problem....then go eat lunch with her.....during lunch i tell her my problem then tell her i very angry with her yesterday....cause she lie to me......anyway her problem bigger than mine.....Now for me is i want to treat clarissa as friend i wish she will treat me normaly as a friend ...cause i hope be be a friend of hers wish that she will treat me as friend too.....Then porkchop tell me wad happen to her yesterday then she like very sad.....i council her lehzz......wahaha finaly my turn to council ppl ...er.....actually not really council lahzz....just listern to her lorzzz......hmm i can understand how to feel lahhzzz so although she may not see this blog but.....want to tell her JIA YOU JIA YOU JIA YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AS FOR ME I ONLY TREAT CLARISSA AS FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!HOPE SHE WILL TREAT ME LIKE A FRIEND>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

2006-10-30T19:37:00.000-08:00

Me and joelle ^.^

2006-10-30T05:13:00.000-08:00

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+Why i am the only one living in misery no more me i wont be the same anymore dont even +bother to care about me ...........I am nobody.......i wish i was never alive........I will never be the +same like i use to be i will be a dead person wothout lvoe and friends its better being alone be a +cold fish like me so i wont hurt anyone and no one can hurt me....I am so lost now....I have a +second thoughts of going back to school on friday........
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

2006-10-27T05:37:00.000-07:00

today at home....nothing to do very sian and i.... donno wad to do........i dont know why but maybe i was not ment to be a happy person maybe ..........

2006-10-26T06:51:00.000-07:00

This is a personal account of a ghost story that occured over 10 years ago. This "true experince" I supported the writers theory that their departed loved ones can convey messages through dreams. Back in 1989, being a fresh graduate Psychology graduate, Jane landed a job inthe personnel department in one of the goverment offices in Quezon City. A male co-worker, Jun, was 11 years older than her. He became one of her friends while working there. Jun was king, loving, and romantic. He was the breadwinner of his family. His parents and relatives liked her a lot. Being single and unattached, he courted her in 1990. She accepted his marraige proposal during the latter part of that year. Her parents did not approve of their relationship and when the first quarter of 1991 came, her parents made her quit her job. her dad, being a military man, even threatened Jun to stay away from her. To make their story shorter, she left her job. She lost track of Jun she bussied herself with the family business. Basically, she went on with her life and tried to forget about him. On the morning of June 2, 1994 she recieved a telegram from his aunt, saying that Jun had died the day before June 1, 1994. Shocked she crumpled the short note and hurriedly phoned his aunt for confirmation. She told her that when they parted, Jun resigned from his job and drunk heavily each day. He naglected his death as well as his body. Pneumonia had caused his sudden death. "You know Jun. Everyday and up to his remaining hours, all he wanted was to see you. During his final moments, while suffering from delirium, he even told us that he still loves you very much," Jun's aunt said. Sadly, her parents wouldn't allow her to go to his wake. She mourned quietly inside her room. There even came a point where she convinced herself that he wasn't dead. On January 1995, just before her birthday, Jun visited her in a dream. She dreamed that she was inside a hospital room. she was wearing a hospital gown and she was sitting at the foot of her bed. Jun suddenly appeared before her, clothed in bright lights. They communicated mentally. She told him it wasn't true that he was gone. He replied that she must accept the fact that he was already dead but it didn't mean that he as leaving her. "I will always be beside you, gaurding you," he said. She cried saying, "I'm sorry I didn't have the guts to fight for our relationship." He comforted her and soothed her by shrouding her with his bright light. The bliss she felt was interrupted by voice calling his name "It's time for me to go," he told her. "But what about me?" she asked, tears in her eyes. " I will be here for you always," he replied,"and I will be waiting for you there. And don't ever forget that I love you very much." After saying this, he vanished before her eyes. She woke up crying. After this accident, She finding herself beganing to accept his death. And whenever she is depressed she feel his presence beside her and she know somehow out there he's still waiting patienly for her.

2006-10-25T05:52:00.000-07:00

You will never know all the tears i have cried,
You will never know how hurt i am inside,
You will never know how long i have loved you,
You will never know i think of you no matter what i do,
You will never know how i feel will always be the same,
You will never know that i cannot stop these tears of pain,
You'll never know how sad i am when you are gone,
You'll never know you are the reason i have been alone all along,
You will never know how much i care,
You will never know all the pain i bear,
I want you to know that i will be there to the end,
Because no matter what......i will always be your friend!

2006-10-25T05:37:00.000-07:00

I lie alone.
My life a mess
No family,no home.
My life a misery torn apart.
Just like my little beating heart.
My life of being sad. Just makes me mad....
I do not wish to be lonesome...
As if love would make me wholesome....
Like love would fill my heart.
No one is there to make me smile.
Just there to tease and tear my heart apart.
While laughing all the while.
My tears of hope drift out of me just like a sea of misery....................

2006-10-25T05:16:00.001-07:00

i am so stress.......i dont know wad to do or how am i suppose to do......i wish i could give up as easily as she want me to.....i wish i am the one retain ,,,...maybe its better to retain so she wont feel weird around me and i wont..........who am i to complain .....i am an ass.....i am a idiot who dont dare to do anything.......Love is so difficult....wad am i suppose to do.....its really so difficult to forget....I dont belongs here i dont belongs anywhere i am a person who no ones wan........Life is nothing to me .......

2006-10-24T07:20:00.000-07:00

I love fruitsbasket....wahaha i got book 20!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-10-24T06:55:00.000-07:00

Losing her is the hardest thing to do....... I tell myself i will survive but its so difficult....sob sob

2006-10-24T06:34:00.000-07:00

Today went out with eve,sharon, joelle,pork chop,zara & clarissa.... Hahaha evelyn's singing very gd .....yeah she sing quite alot with joelle and pc they all can sing lahh....all sing until very nice.....hahaha nvm i cant sing.......bought the latest "fruitbasket" bk20!!!!hahaha now reading and the poster inside very NICE!!!!!! i love it!!!!!!!! anyway pc keep on asking wad me and joelle bought for her...hahaha i wont tell her...but dont know why she chose the right "dog-tag" ........ any way i didnt ans yes or no...hahaha let her guess until saturday then give her....LOL ....... er.....quite sad lah.....because of someone.....haizz...... dont know wad she thinking........sad.......

2006-10-23T05:35:00.000-07:00

sometimes when I am reading newspaper and came across some murder cases, I will wonder how a murderer selects his victims, what chaotic synchronicity brought them together? Sometimes they have known each other for half a century or more, sometimes they are stranger until the ill-fated instant they meet. Sometimes I find myself thinking, "If only........." If the victim had left a little later or earlier. If it hadn't rained or traffic had been lighter or heavier. If the partners in a marriage had never met, never dated, never fallen in love and had chosen someone else entirely. Of only time could be rewound and choices that turned out to be fatal could be revised. There were so many variables that might have changed that terribles ending. But real life does not allow second chance.

2006-10-23T05:28:00.000-07:00

Every one has a secret within them or their family. Today I read a book called "giving up the ghost". this story touches me alot.....WHY??? Maybe it is because this is a story about an extraordinary memoiry Hilary Mantel reclaims.... the story of her life and the ghost that have come to haunt her. From childhood, day dreams to the reality of family secrets, her father's mysterious disappearance and an adulthood blighted by medical neglect, Mantel uncovers the losses that wrenched her from the patterns of the past and drove her to forget her own remarkable path.
I dont know of I can be like her, will I be able to fit in this world, will I be able to understand myself???

2006-10-22T05:47:00.000-07:00

house in germany haha too bad not my one^.^

2006-10-22T05:22:00.000-07:00

me!!!opps...hahaha

2006-10-22T05:15:00.000-07:00

blur...dont know wad m i looking ^.^

2006-10-22T04:50:00.000-07:00

me at home nothing to do ^.^

2006-10-22T04:16:00.000-07:00

Today I read a book called"The Last Letter". The two characters, Bill and Jackie were in love. They were, indeed, two people who embodied the kind of emotion we hear about in love songs. Songs of love lost, love regained, and sometimes love destroyed----forever. But popular songs seldom mention a kind of supremely selfish "love" that can hurt innocent people and smear the most romantic love affair with blood!
This story haunts me. Why!? I suppose it is because the ending was so pointless, so unnecessary. Thirty years of happiness were thrown away, because one of the partners did not believe in love. And the other believed and trusted in love too much. There was an old adage: "be careful what you wish for, because you just may get it, but your wish will never come about exactly as you planned." If I say this story is a true story, what will you people feel??

Foever heartbroken Forever lonely

2006-10-20T07:33:00.000-07:00

CAN I MAKE IT THAT FAR TO FORGET >>>>>I AM SO NOT ALRIGHT

2006-10-20T07:14:00.000-07:00

Life is just a pill of water if I say I am aright........ it will be totally a stupid lie.......I am so not alright everyday I have to see her and I will tell myself that I am alright but what I can do now is to put on a mask to tell every one I had already get over her I look so happy in school today but now in my room I feel so empty inside me I was so lonely being isolated from others............ Times heal every thing but its so difficult............ who am I to complain I am just a small bloody fly in the class I am nothing Maybe I should leave every thing behind and be alone what is my life for what am I going to do next life is so like nothing for me...... I died yesterday I wont be the same me anymore

2006-10-20T05:57:00.000-07:00

~Me and denice~
In her germany house^.^

2006-10-20T05:35:00.000-07:00

Having fun eating ......... ^.^ its really fun

2006-10-20T05:28:00.000-07:00

^.^ Me with my germany friends!!!!!!!!

2006-10-20T05:15:00.000-07:00

Me and my team hahaha we are a very united group
group name::::::::双飞燕!!!!^.^

2006-10-20T02:31:00.000-07:00

angel here ~ creating blog for you ~ =] say thank you ....